where hypotheses come to die (madman101) wrote,
where hypotheses come to die
madman101

ENDORPHISM: A New Way of Repeating the Same Mistakes - (Part 1)

There is a reason why people have so much trouble deciding on religion. It's because different areas of our brain believe in different gods. It's true. You can goggle it. For example, the Hypothalamus believes in Plato. The Cingulate Gyrus believe in Charo. The Olfactory Bulb believes in Willy Wonka. The Corpus Callosum believes in Chris Christy. The Pituitary Gland is an agnostic. On the other hand, the Pineal Glad does weed and worships Haile Selassie. It's all a myriad panoply of pantheistic discord. Therefore, no one human can make up his or her mind, so they must FORCE themselves to join ONE religion and choose ONE single god. In this country, most people choose the christian god cuz of the frequent flier miles.

I ended up with a serious brain-fog tussle this morning. I hope I can crank out this post real quick like, even though there are too many thoughts for it to be brief argh. I think I will start with this thought:

Fundamentalists - so called because they love them some mental fun - pride themselves in believing that only one god created everything, about 3 years ago. Unbeknownst to them, this theory has a serious flaw: Anyone who has a bone to chew with god can still sue him before the Statute of Limitations runs out. This theory is rather primal as if thunk up by a small lemur millions of years ago but this is America and they are allowed to print our text books. If fundamentalists want to walk around surrounded and wrapped in comfy gigantic absolutes like kings in castles, EXTENDING their will and right and hope and glory into everybody else's backyard or living room or BED, and sometimes coming outside to blow people's heads off and such, they have that privilege and ain't they cute cuz they talk so sweet and simple? Who could ever hate a fuzzy little pink bunny rabbit doll kind of a person throwing kisses and stealing jelly beans? A similar type of religion exists under the banner of "Corporations are UBERMAN, my friend," but we'll discuss that at a latter date if there is time after the Apocalypse.

OK - The theory of creationism = One god, did it all. End of story. Return to GO. Believe or perish in one hell ruled by one devil I mean the other god or something... DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! Well, compare and contrast this with New Age pantheism/animism. This religion says everything is god - oh wait, that's fundamentalism again, my bad... The point of this is this: Fundamentalists can only concentrate on one god at a time, or a lifetime. Scientists will tell you that this is due to them being stupid. New Age liberals are much smarter because they [claim to be] able to hold an infinity of gods in their minds, although it is easier for them to conceptualise this as one big blob who likes them best. Drunken Mormons will tell you that New Agers are really the same thing as fundamentalists, or at least the mirror image, but they claim to be different only so they can oppose fundamentalists, vote for Democrats and get more ice cream at the fair, Mommy. That seems to be another pretty simple religion, but when you mention this to New Agers, this is what they will say: "Yes, but no."

So let's move on to the wonder of SCIENCE. Science is good because it pretends to be a mock-up of the universe, shaking things down, and figuring out why certain things happen. If you research in Wikipedia, you will find that, "Scientists are in fact gods." Scientists have to be gods to make up for the empirical problem that they entertain no notion of god in their research. (To understand my last sentence, go to: www.babelfish.com). In order to deny the possibility of being gods, scientists will tell you that, individually at least, they are all mad, in that they assert no personal opinions or manipulations in their experiments, and the only thing that keeps them from becoming serial killers is the joy and comfort of believing in the erotic idealness of whole numbers. They will tell you that the opinions and controls which they do employ are only dictated to them by these numbers whilst dozing off watching, "Fringe." Scientist apply pure mathematics and work on contracts for the New World Order. If you tell them that Mormons say that scientists are globalists, scientists will say this: "Do you know what a Mormon is? A globulist!" (Mormons, as you know, worship the god, "Gluten, King of Gunk."

By the way, most of you know that I am a piece of fallen space debris from a fly-by craft fleeing the planet Prion due to domestic abuse and I can tell you that on the planet Prion there are many, MANY wherbles who tend to agree with the Mormon religion, even though their official god is the Spaghetti Monster. - TBC...
Tags: s - endorphism series
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Comments allowed for friends only

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 4 comments