It ain't rocket science...
I bought candy yesterday and it isn't enough - so I'd better get along and get some more on Monday.
I went to the supermarket yesterday. I just scraped by so I'd be able to get things done with the time allotted me by the buses - which don't operate on Saturday nights here, of course, because that would actually help the economy. I try to avoid the weekend bus though, because I end up with the Seat Nazi, who owns the atmosphere and shouts about skinning racoons and dogs.
But this time I got a younger normal looking driver who had to confront seriously idiot drivers and pedestrians and so he was yelling. Their bad vibes were coming through him and getting inside the bus via osmosis. Normally, the concentration of idiots WITHIN the bus are much higher than OUTSIDE, and whomever enters the buses always leaves BRAINWASHED, on a mission to screw up the outside world.
The bus home, btw, was filled with a wide assortment of black women and babies, mostly. BTW, when I speak of, "BLACKS," I am often referring to the group which society has made into a culture - but BLACKS are actually far more genetically diverse than Europeans, or Asians, etc. But this one large woman was up at the front of the bus, straddling the coin machine with her leg, yapping with the black female bus driver. That's against the rules, but apparently bus-drivers are gods in this little world, who can make up their own rules. That's why everyone plays up to them like they are authority figures, and instantly create a dysfunctional, Machiavellian bus society.
And baby carriages were everywhere, even where the front seats should have been. So, I was stuck again, exhausted, with all my bags, all bunched up next to some guy.
I got off at Four Guys and got a cheeseburger for the B12 of course. I walked with my burger to pick up my car $$$ at the repair shop, but they were already closed for some reason, such as they took my money and went to Bermuda.
As my heart quickly turned to candle wax, I crossed the highway to get to the supermarket. And, in keeping with the theme of IDIOTS that day, some far-off car started gunning for me, so I had to force myself to run off the street. Still, there continues this stupid mentality where people's cars are their actual egos, and you could be 2 miles away, if you cross their line of sight then that means you are somehow meaning to insult them or challenge them or their right to own the atmosphere. I swear, the economy will never turn around until jags like these are weeded out, and that usually is done by sending them off to die in WAR. Which they drive into thinking war is nothing but Swiss Cheese until they discover that THEY are nothing but Swiss Cheese, with ketchup.
So - remember this driver, gunning for the disadvantaged, thinking he is BOSS, because it leads into some thoughts later in this post...
Wait. I guess that can help paint a picture. One theme of this post is this: "Locking eyes with the neo-homeless."
There are some homeless people who are crazy. They are homeless because they are crazy, they are even crazier because they are homeless. And if you look at them for a millisecond, they immediately start gesticulating and yelling and getting into your atmosphere. You are suddenly being tested for your humanitarianism, patience, sanity, nerves, etc., and you are now in a social SPOTLIGHT... "We KNOW you're in there!..."
Well, when winter is coming, and people are shopping for candy like squirrels for nuts, and it's a Friday, AND THE WORLD BEGAN ENDING IN 2008, "normal," middle-class people start acting like these crazy homeless people. They want to wander around in a haze, and when the chance comes along to focus in on, and target someone for blame, they do it like moths to a flame.
Usually, it's the poor and disadvantaged who are blamed. But, since de-institutionalisation, it could be any-fucking-one. People wander out in front of buses without looking. People stop in no-parking lanes. People just act IDIOT, setting themselves up for some confrontation.
In fact, the guy who was gunning for me was actively SEEKING OUT a problem, determined to render me one of the same crazy idiot homeless-like people, i.e., zombies.
Also, I saw two cars in a minor conflict, and one car honks - it's an old lady, and she is suddenly realising that she is not only honking at an old man, but an attractive old man, and she's like, "Oh, wait! I should be smiling and shrugging my shoulders and letting him go ahead of me, just like we did in World War II!"
And the old guy sees the attractive old lady, whom he also expected to be a Gen X retard, and he's thinking, "OH! I should be saying, 'Ah ha ha ha, no YOU go ahead. My pleasure! How silly that things should HAPPEN!" (Reminds me of those two old people on the bus a while back straining to flirt with each other via the slightest and safest of bodilly movements as if grasping for final breaths in an atmosphere choking on IDIOT)...
But, there they are, brushed along in the swelling tsunami of history called the EVEN BIGGER DEPRESSION OF 2012-2018...
Oh - locking eyes with the homeless-like... Well, that guy gunning for me, and all the others, had locked into some instant dysfunctional relationship with THE OTHER, ASSUMING he/she knew exactly what the other was MEANING or THINKING or INTENDING in regards to him. That's one reason I'm leaving this city. The dysfunctionalism is so inbred, everyone thinks they know what the other person is thinking, and so they "react" against it in a crazy manner, and you're like, "WHO ARE YOU?!"
Well, this insane dynamic, which kind of beats sanity to the punch, or leaves no room for reason or even empathy, cuts two ways - it also requires that most people actually DO think what the paranoids THINK they are thinking.
So, they say things behind backs; they make off-hand, irrational comments to themselves out loud; they foster gossip and lies and doubts and jealousy and spite and so on and so on. Another theme of this post is this: "Some things people said behind MY back lately." Turns out they were mainly GOOD things, but same difference - because the whole point is to take you out of yourself into this atmosphere of questioning and uncertainty and false assumptions and presumptions and pretense, etc. In PSYCHOLOGY terms, "externalising the onus of control."
Well, I get into the supermarket. You know that smell of MOULD or MILDEW that is in everyone's food today? It's in potatoes, and Brazil nuts, and old oats or grain cereals, and Melatonin supplements, and everything else? Well, the entire supermarket was heavy with the smell of this taste. This fungus OWNED the atmosphere. And bats were falling right there in front of my cart. Not really. But yeah - not good to have that smell fill up what once was, "The biggest supermarket in the Midwest," or some damn thing.
First, I went to the bank inside the store. The Prima Donna teller was there, and, unusually, she seemed interested in waiting on me. Well, after a few times of interacting with her briefly in the past, and observing her, I sized this girl up as the female version of a jerkwad. Two faced, control-fixated, gossip-monger, better than everybody else - you know the type, and a BANK seems to be the optimum terrarium for this type of reptile. (I've noted before what scuz there are in banks, but I was planning to do a full, small post about some examples later).
Well, she was super nice, in the OFFICIOUS way, and brief. And when she handed me the deposit receipt, with a big patronising, "THANK YOU, HAVE A NICE DAY!" I didn't smile back, I didn't anything. I was too migraine, and CFS, smiling back didn't really occur to me. I just looked at her and left. Like she was irrelevant to me. Because that's been how she's been treating me, in addition to some obvious gossipping. Someone else looked up at me like I owed her a nice response, but sorry, fuck that. I'm nice, I'm witty, I'm congenial - people love me. But I don't play games. I don't waste my time on people who don't know what they are talking about, people who play degenerative games, or people who are big balls of bat shit.
Well, after I had shopped, and as I was walking away from the cashier lane, she asks the bagger something, and he says, "No, he's just kind of mellow. I don't think he's mad at you." I was "MELLOW" because I was MIGRAINE. But she's that paradoxical control type who's now interested in controlling or owning me - this is how they get turned on, and conspire to destroy the planet, as a mere side-effect of their exploits.
Oddly, I have found that I have the power to keep this sort of girl infinitely aroused - they never give up because I reckon I never given in. My soul is uncontrollable. But if I ever wanted a life-long fuckbuddy, it would have been an officious conservative prima donna bank teller sort. Of course, I'd end up super rich and super unhappy and possibly plasticised but that's the point of selling your soul.
Summary: She now HAD to be RIGHT. I had been in her line of sight. And so she now had to own my atmosphere. Locking eyes with the (future) homeless... It's a cosmic joke on them, and they, poor souls, are squeaming in early embarrassment...
For love of "money" - is the source of all evil.
I did see one small ethnic-looking girl who looked like she had a real personality, and we locked eyes from afar, but I never saw her again, darn it...
Anyway, another thing that happened: I walked by this cute blonde mommy and her toddler babe on the cart says, "That's a really BIG boy!" And she said something to the kid, I dunno what.
Then, at the check-out, the bagger, (the one I mentioned earlier), asked, "paper or plastic," and I asked him to put all the LIGHT stuff in a big tote bag I had, and he said, "Oh, I don't know what you mean by light... You look pretty BUFF to me!"
I'm like, WHUT?
He was young and cute but I don't think he was gay, and I didn't really respond to his statement since I didn't understand what he meant by it, and I had a migraine. Thinking back on it, it pieces together: He was probably giving me a little test of my personality or something, and/or buttering me up, in the service of the evil bank teller girl - ha! Because otherwise the statement makes no sense other than I looked big and buff that day, which is no reason to say anything, fcs.
I mean, there were some gigantic buff guys on the bus that day but I didn't run up and ask them if they wanted paper or plastic, did I? Well, yes I did, but I'm weird...
I decided to write all that because it links into a very simple thought, (see below). I've written a lot more about this kind of stuff in the past, but that's not so important to do now - now that hyper-crapism is widely coming to light all around us. For my own internal wealth, I am more interesting in developing theories than in exposing or dissing idiots. Idiots who came into this world looking to be dissed. And, it's also not so important to focus on hyper-crapism, (aka, hyper-capitalism), since I have removed myself greatly from society, deliberately, and because of illness.
And now I will be moving to a new town, where I can be almost as anonymous and unfettered as an unmarked grave in the woods. BTW, I liked seeing this little Halloween gravestone in someone's yard: "R.I.P., Berry D'Alive." (*let's out a Chris Mathews' HA!*) Some Hispanics came by and viewed this place from the outside, today, and I know this time that these will be the buyers.
I have run off in cognito, to preserve my body and spirit and sanity and thought. And yet, jags on LJ still pop up in political communities or even in some LJ friends' journals. I need to let you know that I often drop these friends unless they drop and/or ban the crapsters, even if I like the friends. I'm not on LJ to have food fights with stink-bugs.
Cowardly attacking people on LJ is a very different thing to criticising or satirizing public figures in politics. Anyway, to conclude: I was planning to write a bunch of stuff about the sun, etc., but I forgot all that. In my migraine and fatigue. THIS here post took me all day to write, basically, and this has been my way of celebrating. So, here's the thought:
Those, (who's heads have not been deeply dented by the hoof of a horse), who go about ALWAYS WRONG, also have this strange and irritating habit of NEVER ADMITTING THEY ARE WRONG. It's an exact correlation. And it never ceases to confuse and surprise many people. But, it makes sense. How else would they come up with WRONG ANSWERS in the first place unless they always insisted that they were the RIGHT answers? The (near-pathological) denial is essential to the stupidity.
And why else would they be so nervous and inconfident, in their denial, if they were not stoked up with ERROR in the first place?
It's a vicious cycle. And since they will do anything to deny that they are wrong, and yet they ARE always wrong, that means they can only resort to APPEARING to be right - via bullshit, smoke and mirrors, corruption, lies, whatever it takes.
Often fueled by some drive to be accepted by GOD, or some ideological crap, they are INCAPABLE of seeing their own ongoing hypocrisy. And so they forever go on, like buffoons, getting "caught" in the next "trap" - traps they set themselves up for. They are in an endless battle with themselves, taking us all along, and DOWN, for the ride. How nice of them.
To them, their egos are nervously sitting on THE RIGHT answer - WINNING the contest is all that counts - "he who dies with the most toys wins" - and since they can't really WIN, then "winning," to them, actually means CHEATING WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT.
I've given SO many examples - bigger examples - of this behaviour in the past. But here's a little recent example...
There was a post in a LJ community about how some bald guy was putting down the OCCUPY folks, saying that he belonged to the 53% who pay Federal Taxes, and said everyone else should go get a job...
Well, there is so much infinitely flawed with his point of view, I added my two cents worth in a FUN comment. It included stuff about derivatives and how the wealth of 99% is being extracted, whether we have jobs or not, or pay FEDERAL taxes or not. (To para Hermann Cain, "If you're too poor to pay taxes, BLAME YOU-SELF!").
Well, some guy comments my comment with this dry explanation about economics - except he didn't know what the hell he was talking about. He starts talking about LOANS, instead of DERIVATIVES, etc.
So, I'm kind enough to make a response. But he comes back again, completely not owning up to any of the clearly stupid mistakes he had made, and he's explaining again to me, with more irrelevant nonsense, mainly. He's explaining to me that the Federal Reserve doesn't print money, the U.S.Treasury does.
WRONG. Look at any dollar bill. What does it say? "FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE." It doesn't matter what Bartleby the Scribner you bring in to print the paper, it's the privatised-government FEDERAL RESERVE which creates the money. And every dollar it creates not only puts us $1+ in debt, it feeds inflation, and inflation fears, whether or not that new capital is temporarilly locked up or not.
(There was a brief time when JFK actually had the U.S.Treasury issue U.S. SILVER CERTIFICATES, i.e., non-fiat, non-Fed, non-indebted dollar bills, good for a certain amount of SILVER. But JFK was subsequently shot. Now our dollar bills are nothing but IOU's - BILLS. We have gone from subjects of the Crown to subjects of the Central Banks).
That's all fact. But this guy just came out of nowhere, with one agenda: "I AM ALWAYS RIGHT". And yet he was WRONG. See? It's like a never-ending army of zombies, that won't go down, intent upon consuming our minds with rot.
If you want another example, watch last night's, "60 Minutes," about Bernie Made-off...
One of the sons is saying, "We never discussed morals. But I feel we had a very moral life. There was a clear Difference of RIGHT & WRONG." Oh, good.
Then the news guy continues, "The family quickly was living the good life, buying houses and yachts and blah blah blah..."
And the wife says, "I just wanted to kill myself - we had been SO PROUD OF OURSELVES, and now THIS."
See the disconnect? See the assumption that they are CLEARLY RIGHT? (Because the money "PROVES" they are right, in God's eyes). It was pure corruption - pure economic DESTRUCTION - pure WAR AGAINST THOSE WHO GENERATED THE VALUE - with nary a concern, nary a doubt, nary a conscience. It's not any different to ALAN GREENSPAN running our economy under complete libertarian policy, like some PERSONAL GIFT TO THE DEAD AYN RAND.
Houses of cards built upon selfish, "I AM RIGHT." Not on anything truly rational. And do you think, dealing in numbers like $50 BILLION, that the Made-Offs and their cohorts didn't come up with a back-out strategy, which would retain some billions for themselves. Of course they did.
And so, (I believe), they've got it set up so that suicide was said to be attempted, the son says he'll never speak to Bernie again, while Bernie will probably be shuttled away into a plush lifestyle in a few years. Maybe those BILLIONS of dollars shipped into Iraq, and which, "disappeared," were related to this scheme.
Really, why would anyone trust what is said by a family which pulled off the biggest PONZI SCHEME in history? Yes, innocent until PROVED guilty, but there is nothing requiring us to be taken LIKE DAMN FOOLS.
And let's say Bernie and wife DID really attempt suicide. And let's say that Bernie, "Didn't have the courage to stop this scheme back in the 1980's, [[which is when he was adding his SONS to the business!]], because he said he, "just didn't have the courage." Oh, poor him.
DIDN'T have the COURAGE. What were the saying about, "a clear sense of RIGHT and WRONG"?! My ass.
All of these folks are inherently cowards. Opportunistic parasites, always "right", but only via APPEARING right, and lying about everything, they desperately run after material wealth as some false proof of their greatness.
Watch Chris Christie, King Parasite, being interviewed: His eyes are DESPERATE to lock with the eyes of the interviewer, and prey on his naivete or humanity or innocence, convince him that King Christie is RIGHT. King Christie is to be lauded for fucking over city workers and the middle class. King Christie deserves to own YOUR ATMOSPHERE! We shall be so indebted! Yay!
And yet he keeps shirking his responsibilities, running from the snow, using government vehicles for personal matters, running away secretly to met with Kochs, so he can run as the next puppet VP or President in 2016. And his whole agenda is based on fucking over disadvantaged people. That's COWARD.
This insanity has become a cancer on our nation. And it will never end until these people are feeling the lead bullets of their own WARS riddling through their own bodies and patchwork souls. And, being cowards, would they not send everyone else to fall before they fell? Would they not send us all to our graves before ever admitting they were wrong?
People like that make prophesy easy as pie.
And look at the police, taking orders from corrupt CORPORATEER POLITICIANS WHO REFUSE TO BE "WRONG", attacking the PEACEFUL OCCUPY protesters, often goaded on by planted provocateurs from our mega-corp-bribed government.
Hungry ghosts, mistaking fear and desire, making wants into "needs", they forever want what they can't have - to possess what can't be possessed. They covet the thing, or produce the product, seeking to consume the spirit, but instead, they throw the spirit off. There is no humane end to it.
The spirit of a things is how that thing sits within the infinite complexity of the universe - of IT'S universe. When you IMPOSE YOURSELF, seeking to control or use, or to own it's atmosphere, then the spirit is thrown off as POLLUTION. The spirit is thrown off as DISSONANT ECONOMY. The spirit is thrown off as WAR. And the spirit is rendered into soap, candles and lampshades. More of the common fodder of capitalism, or of any tyranny, for that matter. But the spirit remains uncontrolled. There is always hell to pay. Entropy...
The hungry ghosts came, with no family history of their own; and in their arrogance, they sewed dissonance and decay, meaning, I suppose, to fashion the world in their own likeness. For shame. This selfish self-game. Locking.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
(10/31): I need to buy more candy now. Maybe I'll buy some Hearsay Curses...