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madman101

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Wisdom is the retention of innocence through adversity.

I ain't no frickin Robot Chicken!

Created on 2004-05-13 22:46:23 (#3142231), last updated 2009-07-06

14,891 comments received, 15,880 comments posted

Plus Account [Gift]

2,584 Journal Entries, 6 Tags, 5 Memories, <10 ScrapBook Files, 0 Virtual Gifts, 14 Userpics

Basic Info

Name:	i'm not a lottery but i play one on tv
Website:	I Me Mine, I Me Mine, I Me Mine ...

Bio

NOTE: I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS PAGE IN AGES SO DON'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO IT

RESPECT MY COMMUNITAS!

dont_add_me_foo - "A spoof on add-me communities for the witty and self-loathing. Make some friends. Check it out!"

rockford_sucks - Where miscreants and expatriots living in Rockford, Illinois, can go to vent their spleens about their current life in hell.

rockfordcentral - Where to post and gather information about bands, events, info, personals, classified, and such and such, in Rockford, Illinois, and the surrounding region!

panda_camp - Currently in repose. You don't belong there anyway. So don't even ask.

http://www.angelfire.com/film/conster74/

MOVIES -

WEDDING CRASHERS - "it was funny!"
CINDERELLA MAN **** - Crowe/Zellweger (Howard)
HERBIE: FULLY LOADED ** - Lohan (Disney)
MARCH OF THE PENGUINS *** - Lots of birds (Lacquet)
MR. AND MRS. SMITH **/ - Pitt/Jollie (Limen)
SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS *** - Tamblyn/Ferrera/Lively/Bledel
WAR OF THE WORLDS **** - Cruise/Fanning (Spielberg)

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ALERTEZ LA!!! -

Yo - if yous wants to talks yous gots ta makes youself ma friend foist, and then I gots to make yous ma friend too. Cause this is kinda like friends-only here see?

(Translation): This journal is mostly FRIENDS ONLY. So you need to have your own Live Journal, and become one of my LJ friends, if you want to read all the salacious gossip.

- INSERT PHOTO HERE WHEN YOU KNOW HOW TO, LAME-ASS MADMAN -

WHO THE FUCK? -

So - I'm a guy, with a free mind and a caring heart - but I'm not stupid, either. I'm looking for creative, marginal people, who don't make posts that fill up the whole friend's page, but who give a shit. I already have a lot of friends - so I'm just looking to make it a QUALITY list, according to me.

Some of my interests make me seem cerebral - I am at times, but that's not the point. Being random and silly and inspiring and exploratory and extremely cool in an unconventional way - these are the points.

Score!

I DO try to "get attention" in my jnl because I really like making my friends happy, or etc. But don't mistake this for egoism. And I do talk ironically a lot. Sometimes, people might mistake my weirdness for sarcasm or anger at them. This is NEVER the case. I care about my LJ friends. I also have a disability that society really doesn't understand or respect. CFS. I lived in Wisconsin for a good while, and I appreciate Minnesotans more than Illinoisans. I also "bitch" about people sometimes - because I don't do this much in real life - and I am trying to draw attention to problems in society. Sometimes, a LJ friend or two might see in themselves the problems I describe, or simply think I am not being a man, and they may get defensive. If they don't drop me, maybe it will help them in the long run. I am so open-minded on gender issues, yet people may think I'm making fun of such. Nay. And religion - when I complain about overbearing SO-CALLED-Christian assholes, I am not attacking Christianity per se. Most religions have the same problems. And Christianity has been used as an excuse for selfishness and violence. I call it like I see it. Except - I do try to be diplomatic and fun most of the time. So there. bya

- INSERT SOME WEIRD-ASS PIC/MEME HERE -

COOL RADIO STATIONS -

WXRT (Chicago 93.1) http://www.wxrt.com/ - Right now, it's the Rolling Stones "Driving To Fast" which is kind of like Tom Petty doing "Brown Sugar" - not bad for that genre. WXRT is progressive rock which has as it's standards Rockin Chicago Blues and Clash-type punk - a lot of BEAT and classic guitars - more Classic Rock than it used to be, but it just now introduced me to Brendan Benson (reminds me of an unpolished Michael Penn/ Mathew Sweet) who's playing in the region, and Better Than Ezra (which I've been WANTING to hear - playing at OTW IN Rockford tmorrow at 7:pm)) - also good. WXRT is great at playing new CD songs you don't hear on the radio - from U2, Coldplay, etc. And they are expert at "mixing" the music. Now they're playing something that sounds like Iggy Pop doing Sheryl Crow... And now it's EEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee! NEW LIZ PHAIR - doing a theme on "There She Goes"! Now it's Neil Young. Now Green Day. Lots of concert ticket contests!

WXPN (Philly 88.5) http://www.xpn.org/885_GAAT.php - If you like NPR's "World Cafe" then you'll like WXPN - because it produces Cafe. Even more progressive than WXRT, but more into acoustic and female artists - more melody than beat. Big on McLaughlin, Sweet, etc. Go to their site and you too can register your "10 best albums of all time" (see mine below) for their 885 Best Albums thingy - I think you get a chance to win 100 CDs. Possibly the nation's best station of it's type - and it's PUBLIC RADIO!

WORT (Madison 89.9) http://www.wort-fm.org/ - What haven't I said about WORT? It's all over the map. The best source for Indie, Reggae, Techno, Industrial, etc. Widely varying programmes - so a programme schedule really helps!

K??? (Reno NV) - been trying to find this station - ??? - Excellent goth, synth-pop, industrial, etc. All I know is it has spawned a Live365 radio station "Decompression Radio" http://www.live365.com/profiles/decompressiontank?site=live365 which looks great and is presently off the air. It is associated with "Reno Gothic" http://www.pandemoanium.com/Art.html which you can become a member of if you sign up for the ez-board. Sacramento had a similar mx scene, so maybe this is just as good: http://www.asylumnetwork.com/SSN_main/index.php - This is what the Rockford mx scene COULD be if it tried.

WBCR (Beoit College 90.3) - http://www.beloit.edu/~wbcr/index.shtml - They'll play anything as long as it's crazy and/or alternative. They refer to themselves as "Woop Ass Radio".

OK -

My top ten rock albums of all time, and then some:

1 - BEATLES - WHITE ALBUM
2 - HARRISON, George - ALL THINGS MUST PASS
3 - BEATLES - REVOLVER
4 - CLASH - SANDANISTA
5 - MARLEY, Bob - UPRISING
6 - FLEETWOOD MAC - RUMOURS
7 - R.E.M. - MURMUR
8 - U2 - ALL THAT YOU CAN'T LEAVE BEHIND
9 - ENGLISH BEAT - SPECIAL BEAT SERVICE
10- NIRVANA - IN UTERO

11- MITCHEL, Joni - COURT AND SPARK
12- MOODY BLUES - SEVENTH SOJOURN
13- THROWING MUSES - THE REAL RAMONA
14- NO DOUBT - TRAGIC KINGDOM
15- PINK FLOYD - WELCOME TO THE MACHINE
16- COLD PLAY - A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD
17- DYLAN, Bob - DESIRE
18- GREEN DAY - INSOMNIAC
19- PIXIES - DOOLITTLE
20- COSTELLO, Elvis - TRUST
21- SUNDAYS - STATIC AND SILENCE
22- BLINK 182 - BLINK 182
23- PSYCHOLDELIC FURS - FOREVER NOW
24- REPLACEMENTS - PLEASED TO MEET ME
25- PHAIR, Liz - EXILE IN GUYVILLE

I don't know - I didn't work very hard on this. Zeppelin, Cranberries, more U2, Talking Heads, Sixpence - should all be in there. It's a stupid mix of what I think is historically important and what I like. Who really cares if this is right. I don't. Everything will turn out all right in the end...

cha cha cha - Sing it Aretha! ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

CDs I Have to get:
the Killers
Robyn Hitchcock latest
Green Day latest
U2 latest
Nirvana box set
Tears for Fears latest!!!!!!!
Stefani latest?
That Profits guy
Iris Dement's new gospel CD
My Black Eyed Peas CD from Lacey

More for or me you to check out....

INTERPOL
TOOL
KINKY - A latin-jazzy group that sounds incredible.
JEM - A hip-hoppy, jazzy poppish group a bit like late Tom Tom club
Cherche la Femme Rumba - this is a SONG from a group, I don't know name yet. Really EXCELLENT!
HEARTS AND FLOWERS - This sixties band sounds like a modern imitation of Beatlesque psychodlic mx, but they actually were THERE - they did some song... "An ode to...?????" in 1968. Very good.
TFF - speaking of which, the new song from Tears for Fears has been getting some play, and the CD is said to be great. But the sound is a little psychodelic pop, like the La's, etc.
MARGO GURYAN - I have no ide of the last name, but she inspired Ornette Coleman and the Beachboys, and is a bit like Sinatra/Springfield - put out an album in the sixties called TAKE A PICTURE.
MICHELLE BRANCH - She obviously influenced Avril Levigne and Vanessa Carlton, and seems to have several great influences. I mention her because I only recently bought her 2001 CD. The last song is GREAT. She is creative, but her voice style doesn't have staying power compared to Levign.

BANDS TO CHECK OUT..............................................

Hey LJ should have a little notpad here - where people can put their reminders, bands to check out, etc. Well - if any of you refer me to a band or song you like, I'll note it here - and eventually listen to it. Tell me what you like about it. Any additional comments on the bands below???????????

AUSSIE BANDS;

Suggested by Aussie ice_queen_01:
* The Living End
* Hilltop Hoods
* The Cat Empire
* Something For Kate
* Magic Dirt
* Machine Gun Fellatio
* Powderfinger
* Grinspoon
* 1200 Techniques
* George
* Silverchair
* Gyroscope
* Jebediah
* Eskimo Joe
* The Sleepy Jackson
* Big Heavy Stuff
* Bodyjar
* Youth Group
* Infusion
* Frenzal Rhomb
* Gerling
* Lo-Tel
* Motor Ace
* Pacifier
* You Am I

WHAT I LIKE: (needs to be updated)

* 1000 Maniacs - BLIND MAN'S ZOO
* 420 - (Ska)
+ Abyssinians - (roots reggae)
+ Ace of Base - THE SIGN
- Adam and the Ants - ANT MUSIC
- Aerosmith - TOYS IN THE ATTIC
+ Albert, Herb, and the Tijuana Brass
- Allman Brothers
- Alpha Blondy - (reggae)
+ And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead
+ Anderson, Laurie - BIG SCIENCE
- Apache Indian
* Arabic / World Beat
- Armatrading, Joan - WALK UNDER LADDERS
**ATLAS, Natasha, (see above)
- Bacharach, Burt
- Bad Manners - (reggae/ska)
- Bananarama
- Bangles
+ Beach Boys / Brian Wilson - PET SOUNDS
+ Beastie Boys - (thrash, punk, post-punk)
**BEATLES - REVOLVER
**BELLY - SWEET RIDE
- Berlin, Irving
* Beethoven, Ludwig Van
* Big Audio Dynamite - THE GLOBE
+ Big Country (Scots Rock)
- Big D and the Kids Table
+ Big Star
+ Black Uhuru - (reggae)
**Black Eyed Peas - ELEPHUNK
+ Blasters - TESTAMENT
**BLINK 182 - BLINK 182
- Blondie - CURSE OF BLONDIE
* Blue Nile
+ Blur - PARKLIFE
- BoDeans
- Bon Jovi - DESTINATION ANYWHERE
* Bond - SHINE
- Bongwater
- Bow Wow Wow
- Bowie, David - SCAREY MONSTERS
- Bragg, Billy
* Brahms
+ Branch, Michelle -
+ Brooks, Meredeth
- Brown, Dennis
+ Burning Spear - CHANT DOWN BABYLON
**BUSH, Kate - SENSUAL WORLD
+ Butthole Surfers - ELECTRICLARRYLAND
- Calexico - (Mexicale) - CONVICT POOL
**Camper Van Bethoven - (progressive/ska) -KEY LIME PIE
- Capercaillie - (celtic)
+ Caravan - (rock/psychedelic)
**CARDIGANS - FIRST BAND ON THE MOON
- Catch 22 - (ska)
* Celtic / New Age
+ Charlatans UK - TELLING LIES
+ Chill - (psychedelic)
**CLASH / (B.A.D.) - SANDANISTA
* Clannad - (celtic/new age)
- Cohan, George M.
**COLD PLAY
- Colvin, Shawn - BONEFIELDS
* Corrs - LIVE IN DUBLIN
**COSTELLO, Elvis, (Attractions) - IMPERIAL BEDROOM
- Counting Crows - THIS DESERT LIFE
+ Cowboy Junkies
**CRANBERRIES - EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT...
+ Crow, Sheryl - SHERYL CROW
**CROWDED HOUSE / Split Enz - WOODFACE
**CURE - STARING AT THE SEA
- Dale, Dick, and the Deltones - (original surf guitarist)
**Dandy Warhols - WELCOME TO THE MONKEY HOUSE
+ Dead Can Dance - SPIRITCHASER
- Dead Milkmen - DEATH RIDES A PALE COW
- Dead Kennedys
- Deftones
- Deee-lite - WORLD CLIQUE
**DIMENT, Iris
* DePeche Mode - I FEEL LOVED
* Dido - NO ANGEL
- Dire Straits - BROTHERS IN ARMS
- Disco Bisquits
+ Dolby, Thomas
- Doors
- Dunbar, Sly
- Dury, Ian / Blockheads
- Dylan, Bob - DESIRE
- Easy Star All Stars - DUB SIDE OF THE MOON
+ Electric Light Orchestra
- Ellington, Duke
- Elliott, Missy - UNDER CONSTRUCTION
+ Eminem - THE EMINEM SHOW
**ENGLISH BEAT - SPECIAL BEAT SERVICE
- Entropy - THE LAST QUESTION
+ Erasure
+ Everything But The Girl -TEMPERAMENTAL
- Fixx of Seagulls
* Fleetwood Mac - (Nicks, etc.) - RUMOURS
- Flock of Seagulls - BEST OF
* Flogging Molly - WITHIN....
- Fruit - LIVE AT THE BASEMENT
**Gabriel, Peter - SO
**Garbage - G
**GAYE, Marvin - WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
**GENERAL PUBLIC - RUB IT BETTER
- Gilbert & Sullivan
+ Glass, Phillip - KOYANISKATSI
- Go Go's / Belinda Carlisle - BEAUTY AND THE BEAT
- Godsmack - FACELESS
- golden oldies
* Good Charlotte
* Goodman, Benny
- Gothicles
**GREEN, Al
**GREEN DAY - INSOMNIAC
+ Green On Red
- Guess Who
- Guryan, Margo (influencial cross between Nancy Sinatra Beach Boys & Sesame Street)
- Haircut 100 - LOVE PLUS ONE
- Hancock, Herbie
**HARRISON, George - ALL THINGS MUST PASS
- Heaven 17
+ Henley, Don / Eagles
- Hitchcock, Robbie
**HITCHCOCK, Robyn, (Egyptians) - PERSPEX ISLAND
- Holiday, Billy
- Hurt, Mississippi John
- Husker Du - WAREHOUSE
* Imbruglia, Natalie - LEFT OF THE MIDDLE
**INCUBUS - MAKE YOURSELF
+ InXS - (rock/dance/new wave)
+ Isaacs, Gregory - NIGHT NURSE
+ Jane's Addiction - RITUAL DE LO HABITUAL
+ Jem - FINALLY AWOKEN
+ Jesus and Mary Chain
+ Jet - GET BORN
**JEWEL - PIECES OF YOU
- Jimmy Eat World - STATIC PREVAILS
+ John, Elton - TUMBLEWEED CONNECTION
+ John Paul Sartre Experience
* Jones, Nora - COME AWAY WITH ME
* King Missile
* King Sunny Ade - SYNCHRO SYSTEM
**Kinks - GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT
**KITTIE - SPIT
+ l'Trimm - GROOVY
+ Ladysmith Black Mambazo
+ Lauper, Cindy - (techno) - TWELVE DEADLY CYNS
**LAVIGNE, Avril - LET GO
**LED ZEPPELIN / Robert Plant
* Lemonheads - IT'S A SHAME ABOUT RAY
- Lemvo, Richard - (AfroPop / Carib.)
**Lennon, John
+ Limp Bizkit - (rock/rap) - NEW OLD SONGS
- Linkin Park
+ Los Lobos - (rock/mexicale) - WILL THE WOLF SURVIVE?
**McCartney, Paul - VENUS AND MARS
**MACCOLL, Kirsty - WALKING DOWN MADISON
* McLachlan, Sarah - (rock/folk) - FUMBLING TOWARDS ECSTASY
**MACMASTERS, Natalie - (celtic/folk/rock...)
* McKennit, Loreena
**MADNESS - (ska) - ONE STEP BEYOND
**MARLEY, Bob - (reggae) - UPRISING
* Maroon 5 - (rock/soul/pop) - SONGS ABOUT JANE
- Masekala(sp?), Hugh
+ Matchbox Twenty - MAD SEASON
+ Mayer, John - ROOM FOR SQUARES
- Mayfield, Curtiss - 70's funky soul
- Meat Puppets
* Mendelsohn(sp?) - SCOTISH SYMPHONY
**MIDNIGHT OIL - BLUE SKY MINING
* Mighty Lemon Drops - RICOCHET
+ Mighty Mighty Bosstones - LET'S FACE IT
* Miller, Glenn - (big band/swing)
+ Minogue, Kylie - (dance/techno)
+ Misfits - MOURNING NOISE
- Mr. Meyers - (reggae)
- Mitchel, Joni - COURT AND SPARK
- Modest Mouse - 1972 - Thanks Daniel
- Monroe, Bill - (bluegrass)
* Moody Blues - SEVENTH SOJOURN
**MORRISSEY - YOU ARE THE QUARRY
**MOTOWN
* Mozart, Amedeus
+ Mudvayne - THE BEGINNING OF ALL THINGS...
- Murder By Death
- Murder of Crows
- Mustard Plug - (ska)
- Natural Rhythm - (reggae/ska)
- New Found Glory - CATALYST
* Newman, Randy - (some)
- Nickelback - SILVER SIDE UP
**NIRVANA - IN UTERO
**NO DOUBT - TRAGIC KINGDOM
- Norma Jean
* Northern Pines Band
- Nugent, Theodore
**O'Connor, Sinead
- Originals / Arthur Kay - (ska)
- Osbourne, Johnny - (reggae)
- Pablo, Augustus - (reggae)
+ Parker, Graham - UP THE DOWN ESCALATOR
- Pausini, Laura - MI RESPUESTA
- Pearl Jam
+ Penn, Michael - MARCH
- Perkins, Carl - (early country rock)
- Pet Shop Boys - (dance)
**Phair, Liz - EXILE IN GUYVILLE
- Pimps
* Pink Floyd - WELCOME TO THE MACHINE
**PIXIES / (THROWING MUSES) - DOOLITTLE
- Planet Smashers - (ska)
- Plasmatics
**POGUES
**POLICE / Sting - ZENYATA MONDATA
- Pretty Girls Make Graves
+ Proclaimers - (Scots rock) - BORN INNOCENT
**Psychedelic Furs - FOREVER NOW
- Public Enemy
- Radiohead - HAIL TO THE THIEF
* Rage Against The Machine - RENEGADES
+ Rancid - INDESTRUCTIBLE
* Ravel - DAPHNE ET CHLOE
**RELATIVE ASH - OUR TIME WITH YOU
**R.E.M. - MURMUR
* Replacements - PLEASED TO MEET ME
- Rockpile / (Lowe)
* Romeo Void - INSTINCTS
- Ronettes
- Rouse, Josh
- Rundgren, Todd
* Rx Bandits - THE RESIGNATION
+ Sade - LOVERS ROCK
- Sabien, Randy
* Salsa / World Beat
- Scorpians
- Screaming Trees
- Selector
+ Sex Pistols / Johnny Rotten
+ Shakira
+ Shaw, Artie
- Sinatra, Francy
- Sinatra, Nank
+ Siouxie and the Banshees
**SIXPENCE NONE THE RICHER - DIVINE DISCONTENT
**SKA
* Skatellites
+ Skinny Puppy
- Shannon, Sharon (Celtic)
* Smashing Pumpkins - MACHINA
+ Smashmouth - SMASHMOUTH
**SMITHS / (MORRISSEY)
- Snaggs - (Beatlesque)
- Soft Cell
**SONIC YOUTH - A THOUSAND LEAVES
**SOUL COUGHING - RUBY ZOOM
- Soundgarden
**Specials / Fun Boy 3 - GHOST-TOWN
- Specter, Phil
+ Spooner - THE FUGITIVE DANCE
**SPRINGFIELD, Dusty - DUSTY IN MEMPHIS
**Springsteen, Bruce - TUNNEL OF LOVE
* Squeeze
- Steel Pulse
+ Stevens, Cat
+ Stewart, Al - YEAR OF THE CAT
* Sublime - (Ska, etc.) - SUBLIME
**SUGARCUBES / Bjork
**SUNDAYS - STATIC AND SILENCE
- Sunny Day Real Estate - THE RISING TIDE
- Swag - (Beatlesque) - CATCH ALL
**SWEET, Mathew - 100% FUN
- Talk Talk
**TALKING HEADS (BYRNE) - MORE SONGS ABOUT...
* Techno / Dance / Hip Hop
+ Third Eye Blind -
**THROWING MUSES - THE REAL RAMONA
**TIL TUESDAY (Aimee Mann)
- TLC
**TOM TOM CLUB - THE GOOD, THE BAD....
- Toots and the Maytals
- Tosh, Peter
+ Tossers
- Traffic - LOVE SPARK OF HIGHHEAL BOYS
- TV On The Radio - YOUNG LIARS
**U2 - ! - UNFORGETABLE FIRE
* UB40 - LABOR OF LOVE
- Used
* Vines
+ Violent Femmes
* Warwick, Dion
**WAILER, Bunny
- Wallflowers
* Weezer - MALADROIT
+ Where's My Mind? - Indie
- Whitesnake
**WHITE ZOMBIE
* Wilco - A GHOST IS BORN
- Wolf, Howlin'
* Wonder, Stevie - SONGS IN THE KEY OF LIFE
* XTC / Dukes of Stratosphere
- Yamagata, Rachel - HAPPENSTANCE
- Yellowman
**Yo La Tengo - I HEAR THE HEART BEAT AS ONE (1997)
**YOUNG, Neil - FREEDOM

What I CAN'T STAND (mostly):

x AC/DC
- Adams, BRyan
x Alice In Chains
x Anthrax
x Benetar, Pat
x Black Crows
- Brown, Jackson
x Cars
- Cockburn, Bruce
x Cocker, Joe
x Cope, Julian
x Cray, Robert
- Creed
x DiFranco, Ani
x Ethridge, Melissa
- Evanescence
- Five for Fighting
- Guns & Roses
x Hagar, Sammy
x Heart - (heard enough!)
x Hewit, Jennifer Love
x Hootie and the Blowfish
x J. Giles Band
x Jethro Tull
x Journey
x Kansas
x Kiss
x Korn
- Kravitz, Lenny
x Lace
x Manson, Marilyn - (boring and stupid!)
- Meat Loaf - (can tolerate)
x Melloncamp. John
x Molly Hatchet
x Money, Eddie
x Opera
- Reed, Lou
x Roaches
x Rush
x Sage, Rachael(?)
x Seal - (i've heard one good song)
x Seger, Bob
- Shocked, Michelle - (used to like her)
x Skynerd, Lynard
- Spears, Brocolli - ("Toxic" is great)
- Stone Temple Pilots
- Stewart, Rod
x Styx
x Timbuk 3
x Thrills - (not all Irish bands are good)
x Toad the Wet Sprocket
x Zappa, Frank

I am neutral about:

- 50 Cent
+ Aguilera, Christina
- Amos, Tori
- Boston
x Buzzcocks - (I know I SHOULD like them)
- CCR - (heard enough!)
- CSN - (heard enough!)
- Cheap Trick
- Clapton, Eric / Cream
- Destiny's Child
- Devo
- Dixie Chicks
- Elvis
x Foreigner
- Genesis
+ Grateful Dead - (I waver on this)
- Hendix, Jimmy
- Icehouse
x Iggy Pop
+ Indigo Girls - (used to like them)
- Jackson, Michael
- La's - (used to like them) - (Beatlesque)
+ Lowe, Nick
- Martin, Ricky
- Mike and the Mechanics
- Mitsou
- Montrose
- Morrison, Van
x Mott the Hoople
x Nine Inch Nails - (harsh, old hat)
+ Osbourne, Ozzie
+ Petty, Tom
- Phish - (anyone else find them BORING?)
- Pink- (basic/repetitive;"Ride the Train" was good))
x Ramones - (so what?)
- Rolling Stones - (good, bad, neutral)
+ Smitherines
+ Spin Doctors
+ Subdudes
- T-Rex
+ Twain, Shania
- Verve Pipe
- Waits, Tom - (great music, bad voice)
+ Who
x Yes - (no)
+ ZZ Top

Some Movies I Like. (I'm not good at remembering movies...):

Diary of Anne Frank (1959) - 10
Koyaniskaatsi - 10
Excalibur - 9
Untamed Heart (1993) - 8.5
Crocodile Dundee / II - 8
Its a Wonderful Life - 8
Night On Earth - 8
Horse-Whisperer - 8
Eraserhead - 8
City of God - 8
Edward Scissorhands - 7.5
Gangs of New York - 7.5
When Harry Met Sally - 7.5
Scarface - 7.5
The Untouchables - 7.5
PeeWee's Big Adventure - 7.5
My Left Foot - 7.5
Hero - 7.5
Pulp Fiction - 7.5
Amelie - 7
Igby Goes Down - 7
It Could Happen To You - 7
Closer (2004) - 7
My Life As A Dog - 7
Slackers - 6.5
When the Party's Over - 6.5
Night At The Golden Lion - 6.5
Heathers - 6
Waking Up In Reno - 6
Jay And Silent Bob Get Revenge - 5

SOME BOOKS - I've read a LOT - but not in recent years, due to my diminished attention span

- 100 Years of Solitude - G.G. Marquez
- Crime and Punishment - Dostoevsky
- Moby Dick - Melville
- A Tale Of Two Cities - Dickens
- A Journal of the Plague Year - Defoe
- The Stranger - Camus
- The Plague - Camus
- Kidnapped - Stevenson
- Catch-22 Heller
- V - Pynchon
- almost everything by Vonnegut
- most everything by Kafka
- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
- Flowers for Algernon
- Franny and Zoey
- The Catcher in the Rye
- The Labyrinth

TOP TEN PHILOSOPHERS:

1 - Thoreau
2 - Socrates/Plato
3 - Hegel
4 - Whitehead
5 - Emerson
6 - Marx
7 - Kant
8 - Camus
9 - Kierkegard
10- Mill

TOP TEN POETS!

1 - W.B. YEATS
2 - T.S. ELIOTT
3 - WILLIAM SHAKESPEAR
4 - P.B. SHELLEY
5 - R.L. STEVENSON
6 - E.A. POE
7 - RUDYARD KIPLING
8 - EMILY DICKENSON
9 - DILLAN THOMAS
10-H.D. THOREAU

Some of my poems - all copyrighted...

The world's a bit on me

The world's a bit on me,
While I careen and croon
In a circle of infinity,
My back turned to the moon.
Its more than loss of gravity
That has me mass assume -
I've fallen through the cavity
Where would have been a womb.

The world's a bit on me.
I wear it like a tie,
Or more, a boa Chastity,
As fat as all the love that dies
Around a wick of fantasy;
And I, the poet, I,
A wee bit stuck on Destiny,
Am seen gambolling in a lie.

The world's a bit on me.
Like Dante I would go
From hell to heaven's feet
But know no ground below,
And know no song to meet:
Sweet Beatrice has suspended hope,
With all my poems turned in retreat.
I am but rope, bound up in soap.

The world's a bit on me.
I sorrow though a cosmic dust,
Supplanting darkness with a trail of cheek,
And romance with a blood of rust -
Unlike the day I was, released,
Today I long towards a world be just;
And I just, and I just, and I need
To free this crust; for love, I must.

The world's a bit on me.
It has me gaping through a walking wound;
And in it: more than injury...
In it: worlds of wonder, ruined...
It crumbles when we call for sympathy,
Or spindle cloths, for fear too soon
Come evidence of our insanity...
And love, and love was all the moon.

The Fear of Inspiration

And she held out her hand
And she showed me her wrist
"This is the sorrow only love and
Absolute belief can disappear,
So cry for me now," and I kissed
Her scar, which lingered through the years.

"And so, friends we shall be,"
He said to me, a seemly priest
Come to relieve me of my gainful duty
And carry the tome wherein I poured my life,
(While I was made a meal of by the beast),
But cast it, like rumour, into my sea of strife.

I pulled myself along, paralyzed
In Philadelphia's enveloping waste
Back into the cave where Kelpius lies
My eyes fixed upon the stars that once held light
Eating tree leaves and hard rice with no taste
Outside my brother's illustrious night.

They sent me back, white as a cadaver
Where I lay before the mast of a ghost ship
On some errant trip through grey matter
Where thoughts scurried like prairie dogs
Into dwindling holes filled with lips
Of fire, and familiar Yuletide logs.

And I went into a world waiting like a bullet
With my name written on it, singing
Like the Nightingale I should have been
And she showed me her wrist
And she beckoned me to open her cage
And she flew away with my new-formed heart.

Any stranger may look upon this and
Note there are waterfalls and wonderwalls
And abundant mammals on sea and land
While gravity and god are never-failing,
But all I know is these have all
Crashed through my veins and left me wailing.

And I sit, behind one, lone, proverbial
Pen, and I think again, and I think again
And I wonder of all the time, and the girls
And all the pain that lies ahead
And all the poems, and all the men,
That are left unwrit, the love unread.

What is all of this, why has this all transpired?
I am humbled and dumbfounded
I am afraid to be inspired,
And yet... to throw my song into the emptiness
Without some hope of, at least, a sound of
An echo, if not eternal bliss.

So, I sit and drink my coffee
As I did when I was homeless,
As I did as a success, and now I'll be
A success again. I'll be glad enough to wish
And wonder at the will behind this face,
This new face, this beautiful fantasy dish...

I am looking deep into the heart
Of our original promise and pealing
Away all the pain that keeps us apart
Yet only proves how magical life is,
And I'm feeling inspiration ever-healing.
And I'm thinking of a girl named K...

(This was my last poem!)

Antarctica

There is a special place in the heart
For Antarctica. When eagerness for life
Too long coasts in an upward arc
Into a clash of comfortable charge and strife,
There we walk upon a vast, forgiving
Waste of white, burning like implacable dread
Throughout bones as well as night unliving,
And the awful soul paints its hollows dead.
A sky that strikes so deep, the pain unbleeds
In drops of ice-dry ice on blind infinity.
We stand naked, accelerated with
A grander universe than dim shallows may conceive.
And there our life, in all its ecstasy and show,
Knows, so fine and starkly, the face of God against the snow.

The breeze
Carries me along
Beating my head
Against the trees...

That Town Shall Settle Hence

In Cannadoo did Kubla Kant
A steaming pressure pot decree:
Where Rock, that scheming river, ran
Rumors to our Kingdom by the sea.
Therein, schools of measured men
Ganged their stares and banged their heavy heads,
Like verdicts o'er walls of cold cement,
And went from room to room, as dead.
I heard it all down here in memory,
The shouts of gloom and, "its your fault,"
Down in my Kingdom by the sea,
Where aer, that sacred urn, burned ire to salt.
In Cannadoo, there passed a soul,
Wee and poor by most assessments,
Who dared the door to show its threshold,
While paupers rushed to nail investments,
__________And fecklers whined, "Yankee, go home!"
To what land sails the lot of your dreams -
You, here, where Kubla reigns, remaining
Lost behind the moon - when one so green
Of you, you pitched full in sod and chaining?
I'll say, my love's like a red, red rose,
That tore its heart from leaves and thee,
And climbed its own sure thorns, and rose
Right up, a kindling fire, dawning by the sea:
Where to dine is not to suffer worm and flies,
Or but to think is not to be full of sorrow.
__________Where Beauty can now keep her lustrous eyes,
__________And new Love pine at them beyond to-morrow.

In Forbearance

I would gladly wait through the hardest rain,
Endure the cruelest desert wind on my skin,
Lay suspended beneath a pane of frozen ice,
And weather all the scorn the world retains,
And hear you pause upon the futile qualm
Of, why me? And, what is my truest claim?
And, does not love come required, dry,
Reminiscent or apprehensive?
When love only goes fleeting on a broken wing,
And love only comes calling on a morning wind,
And I'll rather wait though the gladdest dawn,
Unfolding like the petals of an unanswered dream,
Tumbling like a fawn from so heavy a night,
As has ever been,
To settle soft at your feet - you now, at last resolved -
Perhaps a year hence from today or so,
To sit at your feet and say in a year:
"I love you, dear girl", and, what is more,
"I loved you so a year ago".

AND I THE LOON:

Between the laps of indigo, frothing...
In synch with frogs and cricket claps...
I sent you my song, melancholic,
Rolling low on Lac du Flambeau-
Water, water, but nowhere golden sun.

And your son asked you, "What has begun?"
"Well, its time to shut an eye -for the hunt!"
"But isn't it fine how the forest
Crackles like fire, jumping the gun?"
"Infernal nocturnal discord!"

And you both lay your heads
At our one mother's breast,
Finally to sleep, in a tangle of dreams
Woven in a thread of our one
Mother's death.

And I gave you my song of silence,
And you looked for a raging judgment.
And I gave you my invitation to dance,
And you silently set my bones in concrete,
Washing your guilting pan in my blood.

When the Northern Bear sang up on a hill-
You pondered until he might pray to you...
Then you ran like the devil into your saloon
To rouse up a posse to skewer his hide,
Then upraise a church to bewail your loss.

When the Prairie Dog peppered you with yaps,
(As you settled your debt deep into the land),
You thrilled -until you remembered your stock –
And soon gasolined the pup from your trap,
Giving him only back: silence.

And the Buffalo roamed like a river of gold,
Billowing earth in a comfortable drone
Like a fond applause to an infmite host -
To give up the ghost, stone waterfall dead,
When you warranted desert instead.

A bittersweet game, you played in the moon:
A bittersweet prey, we became.
Now allover us you have shifted your gloom
And cached away all of our pain -
Made mad by the sound of our name.

Once the sky breathed Pigeons and Sparrows,
Cutting their songs in the fog of all mind,
Sparkling like icons and calling to you.
When you heard them, you turned,
Drinking away the life of all memory

And the Ivory Bill, a present of spirit,
Once thundered from kingdom to kingdom,
Unencumbered. Crashing and drilling,
You vanquished his kin, (but never his song),
In your unbending shame.

And I, the Loon, watch you still -
Stilling the heart of magnanimous change.
The forest took pains, calling to you -
Now you shout only back to a world of ungodly
Silence.

GOODBYE TO LOVE THAT'S NEVER MINE

Maybe I don't know you
But you know that I love you
I've been too far away from you
And now I hear your time is through
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye to love that's never mine

For all the times I turned away
I couldn't think of what to say
I'd like to have just one more day
To make you mine -its yesterday
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye to love that's never mine

Seems the closer I get to falling in love
The more my heart stumbles and loses its luck
To hold you now would be like heaven above
But I'm falling alone down a well like a rock
Never touching bottom
I'm never giving up
You're dancing in the hollows of my heart
Goodbye

If I could call you back again
I'd find a way to let you in
And dance with you 'til half past ten
If I could only call a friend, (hello?)
Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye to love that's never mine

Seems the longer I dream of living my life
The more my eyes shudder and can't see the light
Imagine myself on a boat with a wife
But I fall like a comet deep into the night
Always chasing rainbows
Never finding gold
You're glowing in the starlight of my mind
Goodbye

Goodbye
Goodbye
Goodbye to love that's never mine

BORN DOWN UNDER BOY

Cold, cold, go away snow...
Some kind of joke, this April fool
Needs to let his sunny wings go.
And blow away, you cold, cold blue.
What's a born down under boy to do?

There's that green grass growing through –
Reminds me of the autumn falling slow...
I fell so slow in love with you, and you,
You know I didn't want to go but, oh,
Where's a born down under boy to go?

Twilight is the morning of my life.
Morning is the endless road to you.
Some kind of fog has me miles behind.
The summer's gone for me, it's all ahead of you.
Born down under, but I'm never over you.

Walk, walk away so slow;
Footsteps behind grow into a pool,
Like old photos pulling me back home;
But where's home with this sand in my shoes?
What's a born down under boy to do?

I can see the Eucalyptus gumming blue,
And hear the Kookaburra spook wee Joe.
I want to wallow in the moon and morning dew,
But I'm sitting here trying to say goodnight to you but, oh, no,
Nowhere for this born down under boy to go.

Winter is the highlight of my life.
High time I wrote good-bye to you.
Melt away, why don't you melt away, night,
And still my heart in that time when we were two?
Born down under, boy, I'm never over you.

Cold, cold, go away snow...
Some kind of joke, this April fool
Needs to let his sunny wings go...
And blow away, you cold, cold blue.
Where's a poor boy down under to go?

What's a new born down under boy to do?

IF YOU EAT LIKE SPARTACUS

I think that I shall never eat
A treat as tasty as a beet -
So red, so tangy, like my feet,
Pickled raw, running in retreat
Through a field of DDT; but
I'd rather eat, than be, a nut.
That's why I feed my lazy gut
All veggies great and small. Know what?
One day, I'll grow up straight and tall
And walk right through these earful walls,
To sleep, to dream, to do it all,
And eat nine bean-rows in the Fall.
The world is not a shock, Sweet Pea -
Eat lots and lots of broccoli!

SUBLIMARE

A Nightingale, I spent my song
Upon a throng, bemused -
Bemused upon a cracking dawn,
Upon a thorny ruse;
And like the light of winter's long
Disintegrating fuse,
My mankind fell, on frozen lawn,
By Steele Nacht, confused.

From late mistake of Y2K,
They'd ushered in long dues -
Their fallen trees, their hollowed cakes,
Their conflagrating views -
Whereas, in heat and shine of day
New snow blew residues,
And Earth, subdued, made manic quakes,
And Shades began to loose.

Soon, all about, that steely snow
Filtrated man's purviews,
Until the fittest foreshadow
Went buried in the news,
And snow on snow turned yes to no -
Good sunshine to refuse -
That three-times-six in Lotto throw
Dared not to start, but muse!

Lucky stars, in phantom night,
The darkened moon eludes,
To rise on high, like Yuletide blight,
And smite pride-drunken Zeus.
His better half are left to fight
Eclipsed, threadbare, to use
Not the crypt, brain-battered tight,
But gate of worldly truths.

Let moon roll on, in ordained ethers,
Our moon exactly noosed,
Between two orbs, two weathers, or
Two centuries abused.
Let's glow beneath deep frosted heathers
Into forgotten hues,
And dream again of skolling fathers,
For equipoise we choose.

The garden gate that I produced
This year of cheating death
Sleeps timelessly in snow and spruce,
Unknown to hearth or wreath -
Still - lacking show or will or use;
There, squirrel musters breath
To disappear as soon, reclused
Into faith's great beneath.

And there, the poplar I construed,
(Configuring in mind,
And bending limb to bow-saw, rude),
Now cracks my mind to find
Saint Malamute, who overstood
To minister the kind:
Beside gold horned gate she would,
Near my wood heart, unwind.

Great covenants and games galore
Vanish into nether.
Our life is locked in perfect store,
And perfect is the treasure.
I find a walnut in my horde;
I readjust my feathers;
I call, upon some unseen board,
"Let Christmas be Forever."

An Attic bird, I spent my song
Upon a throng, bemused -
Bemused upon a broken dawn -
Strewn on a Cross of Deuce.
And like the light of winter's long
Disintegrating fuse,
My Spirit falls, on frozen lawn,
With Steele Nacht, diffused.

ON THE NIGHT OF HER DEMISE

Lightly went your mother's step
On ground unsettled, state unsound --
Each fall resounded whilst you slept,
Each step -- a bomb-burst underground
Between soft poundings of your heart,
So young, so eager to present
To dad, to land, to prince -- a start
Departing from mean government
And from the madness envy breeds.
Oh, Queen of Hearts, you were our best.
You gave your best when least would lead.
Oh, Country, can our greed not rest
Until beneath each heart we plant
Reminders of hope's sullied past:
Land mine -- beneath each innocent;
Cold back - towards each falling lass;
False camera -- at each faltered light,
Until each step we take mistakes --
And makes our field a futile flight
From grave to grave, no peace, no wake?
No, better than ghouls are we, I pose
And always were, as is our will --
As wisdom tells and royalty knows.
She stood for this, and stands now still
With Churchill, Arthur, Lennon, Yeats
Jackie, Florence, St. Joan, Monroe
And all those felled by worldly hates.
This common class, arising noble
Knows no base, no weight, no bound.
As she prevailed despite sharp fates
For peace, to sleep fast underground,
We'll long outpace morbid mistakes
That hound late heals for merely living;
That rob true hearts of every pounding;
We'll not conceal our goodly giving.
As God is King, let's sing her sounding
To lustful crowd: "Trust." Forgiving,
We'll bring each son to rule abounding
And meet each dream of mother living:
We thank you, Di, for grace astounding!
Forever, grace shall bow redounding.

Fare well, fair dove, fair butterfly.
Rise both, entwined in dawning sky,
Spyred from night, suffering ruined
By heart's infinite walking wound.

THE WAY TO AGREE

I was born the son of a stow-away
Aboard an eastward ship of fools
Making its way to a land called Agree
There I grew as a young pup
Amidst a gang of criminals
Learning every rope for my next sail to sea

Once I was all fed up with hope
I set out on my own to find
A legendary land of the brave and the free
Through many a storm I weathered well
And held the wind in open sail
But never again would I return to Agree

Forward to the promised land
To chart E Pluribus Unum
Carry on the flame
Of your father's choice to see
In the dark of desert night
And in the blight of solitude
Keep it steady in your sight
The way to Agree

Now my life is almost gone
And every trick is old to me
Never have I found out the brave or the free
But I hang upon each tongue of wind
As if to taste the sea again
When I'm buried in these sands
I'll return to Agree

Forward to the promised land
And through the mass confusion
Harbour the flame
Of your father's will to be
In the silent desert night
And in the heart of multitudes
You've opened up another route
On your way to Agree

NOWHERE WORLD

Three billion years I've been wearing this mug
Not one single sneeze, not even a shrug
Holding my pose with a mouthful of cheese
While you twiddle your thumbs praying for peace
It could come in a minute
Why don't you begin it?
Nowhere world

Three billion eyes staring up at the moon
Sending up dreams in a hot air balloon
They're kicking up sand and blowing off steam
Burying hearts in the money machine
Making love in the rubble
Love's bursting your bubble
Nowhere world

Nowhere world in a world all its own
Planning to go where its already gone
Nobody knows that it goes there alone
Nobody goes where the nowhere is known
But the man in the moon
Has a light on your soul
Nowhere world

Three million tons of spent nuclear waste
Hydrogen mines filled with raw sewage paste
I'm holding my nose while you throw up your slime
And excess unwanted you're a mind out of time
You save your reactions
For coming attractions
Nowhere world

Nowhere world at the end of the bar
Buying a drink and then it heads for its car
Everyone knows that its acting bizarre
Everyone says it will never get far
But the man in the moon
Has a light on your soul
Nowhere world

...You're the state petrol
...With a heart like a stone
...This old man came rolling home

TO A LOST CIVILISATION

I cast the first stone
Through jumbles of glass and light
Through spectacles, through streets,
Curled and bending like carpets
In a torrent of industry
Like waves receding, and crashing
In upon themselves, upon the weak.
I cast into this vast mirror
Past my own new face asking
"Who will I be, when I'm a man?"
And the answer which preceded.
Through glass, man's cup of time
Vulcanised from sand, I cast
Long, long though mind - a time
Impossible to perceive, so gone
It lies, unreal, conceiving history,
As Night begot the heavens
Which, unable to look back,
Constructed an infinite wall called Evil
Meant to distract from evolution,
Leaving us all casting back
And forth. Some turn to salt.
Some turn to glass. Some collapse,
Especially this year.
Oh, to be where my soul's pebble lands -
Amongst the sands that crept
Unseen beneath the nails of my father's
And my father's hands; to fall
A babe amongst babes; facing
The explosive sun of Stonehenge;
There to eat my sacred grain
And turn with all the world
Innocent, saved, imagining!
Holding a dream so small, so pure,
It races past this petty day
And dares to play, immortal,
Unlike "Y2K",
Senatorial debate, or
Wall Street's great escape.
Into megaliths of memory - erased,
I cast the first stone.
It is all I own.

IMMATERIAL HORSEMAN

Grey the dawn, a thousand suns rising,
Smoke and bombast wraps the scape -
A thousand shells, a thousand men flaming -
Vast the turpitude, fast the hopeless rape.
Call down the curtain on this sanguine age.
Call off this winning that we saved for face.
Cold, the city ghosts in want of dreaming,
Old, the voices break for undelivered grace.

Who should know the song of life,
Were it to stir deep within our shaven ash,
(When ash is all, and that is Memory),
Though it should hold each last tone of Paradise
In but a pondrance of the Mourning Dove
Posed upon some no man's Wonderwall?

We looked for Mogul Hordes instead,
And bled our bleeding sun stone-dead.
Yet, still dure-out our stonied hush,
There keened the heals of the Third and Holy
Galloping over Hindu Kush,
Between the fallen Buddhas three.
Brave and lonely, love and touch,
Gold Knight rode up, armed by song
And courtly trust - recollecting much
That the World had lost in living long and
Lying breached within its mundy berth.

Siva dreams where man hath faltered
And riseth up in dark of man
Into the Sol of fine beginnings -
To Kismet's multicolored scheme again.

Oh, Knight of day, with piercing amour,
Breaking rock beneath your gelding's tread,
Drape us safe, and weep, and soonly - ride away -
Gambolling gently 'crost a distempered sky -
Blue Jay, glim of Morning's diamond riving,
You scored the way to volving wiser. Pray,
Wising shall we stay.
We've seen the horror.
We've seen the ire.
Now let us bury and forgive the fire.

THUNDER FALLS!

Who knew that such a soul could come
From centuries of ice, alone
With man, through hush on hush - a land
Like twi-lit stone, where frozen fish,
Raw, was no less saintly than the tongue?
Ah, but I will eat your head!

My lady sat in flustered longing,
Taken from her father's side,
Taken from her cage of meek beginnings,
From customary dish, and all surroundings,
Into this, our darkened hall, to test,
And nip, my hand, as if to kiss a lady's foundling.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

At night, when all was closed, I'd creep
Down the stairs to scratch upon her door
And brush her fervent muzzle, (through
The slot where mail once blew), to stretch
My chronic fingers, and sadly feed her meager treats.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

And, wait all day, she did, for me
Until my heart, in its first fissure
Out of pain and into lame beatitude,
Called me out to spirit her up, to spend
Her nights in my unended tomb, esprit.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Especially when water-wind
Would ponder close, and limbs that once
Upheld her goodly friends, instead
Unleashed a dark, barking sky - the
Thunder fell - I held her, certain, glad and kind.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

"I will eat your head!" I said to her,
With a gigglish little gobble,
To scare her like a child thrown
Into the air, to land secure in father's hands,
Snuggling now with joy, for life so dear.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Then in the calm, she showed her strength:
Sensing thunder, too, would pass;
Then calming me, and noting that
The water for my tea had over-boiled
Or I had over-wintered, or would be spent.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

How she perked her head to hear me:
"Oh my Baby, Oh my Baby,
Oh my Ba-by, Lady-Baby..."
To the tune of Clementine, from our first days.
Now I've lost you...
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Into the blackbird's stir, cool dawn,
We'd listen to the strangest words
Writ upon a distant moon - absurd
To both of us, but recollecting
Life's symphony we shared - our past - our One.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

There, a train, unsettled, rolling...
"One day, I'll take you on a train!"
And there, her eyes would dream; and pause
To answer me with paw and fanning tail,
And well, in not-too-long, I took her strolling.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

When, once a month, my universe,
And universe of Nod had met
In one redeeming lapse - still-point -
We'd bound into the brisk
Unfathomable silence, wherein she sensed her self.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

On a line a hundred feet, stretched afore,
Slipping through an ebony hedge
A daunting ledge, a wide, untrammeled field,
She met her elements of snow and possibility
And disappeared in time - like peace before the war.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Such a love goes through our race
Like stars between ignominious clouds,
Visiting and deferring, casting fine drops
Of day into infinity, that we should wake
More magically to the consummate sun of grace.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

When nighttime walks had overstayed,
Or all pretenders made the scape
Unsacred, we took our walks into the days
And strayed from park to park, engaged
In dogged hunt and play, unscathed.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Or else, we'd find a day within the garden
And she would lay, panting in the shade.
There, I'd slow address defiant trees -
'til, for want of ladder, ropes sat bound.
Growth, fuse and leash grew brief - where evil hardened.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

For wonder, in ascent, is unforgiven -
As if, for one to lose oneself,
He must fill every form of consent, and lose
All else, above and beyond gold wealth
Forgone in simply living. God's owed and not a given.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Mistaking love for luxury,
Or generosity for usury,
Or my lady's dutiful intelligence
For servitude, need or penitence,
The beautiful was stoned towards perplexity.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Thunder falls, a manish ambiguity,
Pulling like from like, and touch from flesh.
Dazed, we leap with faltered feet,
The next to be some sport of electricity.
We bleed our will in green humidity.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Between two storms, we passed again -
Between the rain and taunting clouds -
Between humanity and the edge of life,
Beckoning us to newer earth, the truth,
The train! We burned, we flew, to wither end?
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Now, there my Baby falls, before my heart,
Gasping for her breath - for from the start
She was a breath too shy, and I too smart
To listen to her knowing then -
And now I see her end. Oh, end my heart!
Ah, but I will eat your head!

As in a magic lantern, I see myself
Fawning for forgiveness at her mane,
Scrambling for cool-air too late,
Lost to the dark by one mad lightening crash,
Powerless above one candle - left in loss, and thunder.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

Say I, to all who would to steward:
Let not your craft beguile the vain,
Or admit it to your veins, your bond,
Your name! Hold sane! Escape! Take flight,
And let your wild creature steady forward!
Ah, but I will eat your head!

To death, there are three parts by name:
The presence missed in subsequent days.
The frail disappearance of breath.
The accident of death grotesquely conspired.
None but the latter approximate the pain.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

In the living is the Reaper hired.
So, only in the slow awakening,
Cold-embracing and fire-chasing -
Only in the lone forgiving - is the sin
Seen for its pain, and the original accident retired.
Ah, but I will eat your head!

My friend, do you walk here with me still?
Do you fill my heart with a will to live?
From anguish springs some furious thrill
In want of wonder, or want of love.
Oh, thunder falls! Dear friend, forgive my ill!
Ah, but I will eat your head!

So - shall I feel? The doctor's come
To thaw poor Baby's frozen form
And, knife in hand, to investigate
A cause of death, or source of vice.
Then he'll feed her sacred brain to Science. Done!
Ah, but I will eat your head!

HEAVEN IN YOUR HAIR

Seven wonders in the world
And I had to meet a girl
With half her happy face in view
For someone circling through space
This must be a special case
The other hemisphere is what I fall into
(The hidden stare)

Seven days it took to make the world
Then the devil gave us Milton Berle
To chop your hair and dye it blue
Or maybe you've just got half a mind
That's always thinking overtime
So I'll stand right here until you're through
(The child in there)

I'm a blind little bat out of hell
I don't take directions too well
I make up my mind in mid-air
I'm only a mammal
In flannel pajamas
Only looking for heaven in your hair
Heaven in your hair
Heaven in your hair
You're not there but you don't care
I don't think you're anywhere
Angels fear the devil's dare
Heaven in your hair

When you look up at the moon
I'm a saturday cartoon
A rabbit on a radar dish
I want to dash into your loom
But I always come too soon
Your time zones leave me feverish
(Its wash and wear)

When you hear another tune
I'm a deaf and dumb baboon
Dancing up a school of fishes
Checking into all your rooms
I'm cast inside your tomb
Flying like the worm of all your wishes
(The sacred lair)

You're a half little mad waterfall
You don't take damnation at all
You give up your heart in mid-air
You're only a vapour
Of venom and adrenalin
Leaving a rainbow of heaven in your hair
Heaven in your hair...

I WANDERED, LOOPY AS A LOON

I wandered loopy as a loon
Through woods of loss and pitch and toss
Like Fosset's doomed balloon
With festooned yoke of albatross
Past Santa Claus and Southern Cross
To Gilligan's lagoon
Loon-Toonilly Marooned
I wandered farting like a cow
In pastures blue and cheddared moon
Right through the madding crowd
Myself - a granfaloon
With airs of Oz and Brigadoon
Because what made me proud
By law was not allowed
I wandered naked as a fish
My laughing face: sliced into chowder
My flesh: salami dish
Fins and bones: ground into powder
To fertilize the fields of power
The only cut they must have missed:
My spine doing the Twist
I wandered slivering across
This woeful globe, and I was pissed
Each time I finally crossed
Into a land of mystery
Back-Dateline made me history
"I am," became, "he was"
And this was just because
I lollied goofy as a goon
Instead of, (like wise Founding Paws),
Allowed a different tune
Allowed a mind, a chance to pause,
Not strewn, like dirt, upon a cross
Called, "Boss!" I'd rather just as soon
Be left alone a loon

Worm and Wonder – © madman101

See the pewter raindrop scoff upon the walk,
See the autumn limb clench against a winter wind
Hear the march of nematodes beneath forgotten logs:
All the world's a lot of bluff and blunder -
Nothing more than worm and wonder.

Green our Beltane days of melting acrimony.
Green the gunning sky before a twister's raid.
Green the garlic mustard, bastardizing snow and Sunday.
The moss sleeps deep in thought and thunder.
All the world is worm and wonder.

Keep the leaves, brown, abounding for the tricksters,
Stir the twigs and dusty rot into a pool of muck and moil,
Heap the past, the past consuming, up into a mound of dearth,
And feed the teeming creatures soiling under.
We're lucky we're not caught in worm and wonder.

My lady danced upon a silver marble block,
Feathers in her hair, and red rose petals at her feet,
Underneath a sun-light dome and solar-powered clock,
Singing sweet, whilst came the word of oil and plunder.
A world away of worm and wonder.

We plant a spade, a garden tea, all the more for victory,
But wherefore is my boyhood roam, my winding panoply,
Where ants were lords and snakes great dragons of the sea?
The land awaits its endless turn asunder.
Grey the mind of worm and wonder.

See the pitch upon this lightly frosted forest glade.
See the life-infested humus slightly heave and roll.
Hear the march of nematodes beneath forgiving blades:
Lay me in the heart of waste, and wonder
Of our saintly days of worm and wonder.

Easter Poem - 3/28/05

Easter egg, Easter art
Hard boiled head and heavy heart
See the dazzling show upon it's shell
Hid in haunt like some ne'r-do-well
Who will find this aching relic
Cracking, smelling, telling tales angelic?
Perhaps the Author would recall
Such a dud, or drop it off a wall
All I know is it's been dreaming
Waiting, planning, pining, scheming
For some sort of basket resurrection
To be back with friends and find direction
For so much steam and surface paint
Makes more a ghost and less a saint
And so you go along your way
And maybe you espy this egg astray
And maybe you would think to bight into it
Don't bother, there's only night all through it
No inner light or magic fresca -
Where would be life, there is a messca
Much the same as King the bastard
Who went on to things like mustard
Seeds and wine and crucifixion
What a life of loss and derelection
That's the song I sing, alone and lost
And waiting for to not get tossed
But held and humbled by some happy chick
Who knows my shell is not that thick
And my heart is just a jelly yoke
Go ahead and give a little poke
And take me on a tour inside your wonderwalls
So pure, so right, unlike my overalls
And have me for brunch, with crumpets
But dare you not, I beg, (with trumpets)
Put a knife to my heart and end it's strife -
I'm just waiting for fun, and a lot more life
And posssibly a wife.

For The Lost Girl

I'm in the world to win
That's old news
And the world rushes in
And you know how it goes
It gets under your skin

It tries to take hold
Where there's an in, it will blow
Like oxygen, burning cold
Until so little air is left
It's like it's taken your soul

But it doesn't. You're just alone
And winning, still
Carrying on, alone
This life is still yours
And the world is what you own

Like leaves falling on a lake
One day the way will come
When you see a path to take
A break upon the winter waves
You'll save the day, and the world is won

All my days have been water treading
Or diving for pearls, as you will
Far too long, longer than many
And I've seen what's down there
And I know where I'm heading

It hurts
It has always hurt
Sometimes I can't work the turf
Without you to dream about
I can't look into the skies unhurt

Without feeling the look in your eyes
Remembering the work
The years that brought me to you
Awakening to the light
Or the tears, reflecting from your eyes

And I could not let that go
I could not go on with another good-bye
As if something in you I did not know
I still refuse to go on without you
Because it's important to me, so

I know I am a difficult guy
Very strange to figure through water waves
Which is no excuse, I don't know why
It's been this way, but I am to blame
I know I am, and yet I have the right

To cry, I think, and I do
I remember you, I remember you
It's not like I spend my life
Obsessed - although that's an easy view
In a world filled without me or you

Easier and easier, I suppose it is, out there
Stronger and stronger the truth
Is weighed against me, as it has dared
My entire life - slings and arrows
Which I never thought necessary

But they're there, I'm the fool
I am nowhere
I am swimming lost in the pool
Of your eyes, in the nightmare
Of my life, and God, I look so cool

Ha! Anyway. I didn't mean that
Long and angry pause, as if you weren't there
I only meant to say, I'm here, that
I'm not the only one playing this game
This weird, thing going on, that

Frightened you.
So stupid. To fixate on something
I need not say sorry for, but I truly
Always have been. And I never meant
To haunt you, I thought maybe that was "truth."

Hmmmm. My own little hope for truth.
Which I deserve, I do, but not at your expense.
If you mean something to me, you
Shall never be expensive to me.
The girl I never met, but maybe you,

I had hoped, might have sensed something more
Which I did. Which is what I won't leave.
Which I fought to keep away from your
Independent and sparkling heart
Leaving my will at your far away door.

I was hurt, and you didn't deserve hurt
This world that has rushed up around me
Is not who I am. I am someone worth
A second look, at least, I am someone
Who would win the world with you

And for you, in my romantic mind
Hidden away in forgotten corners,
Childhood disappeared, lonely and kind
And spyring on, beyond your lonely town
Which I forgive. And I expect in kind.

I sat on the shore one other night
With a bright-eyed boy who was full of dreams
Catarizing into arrogant lies
Til he seemed dead before even being given the chance
To realize the truth within his life.

The wonder of life is good enough,
Any real person will tell you.
Anyone who wins the world and keeps his soul
Will tell you all the world stands just fine
In the magic wanderings of love.

That's really all I wanted to say.

Beyond Words - (edited)

What yet has not been said?
Have I said, "I love you"? Yes,
It has been said, yet the minute it leaves my lips
I am tossed into helplessness, as if
The wind has swept in and shorn
My love from you. The words are echoes
Stolen from my heart, only reaching you
As leaves or shadows, saying nothing
Of how I feel. It is a cruel game,
To say that which means the most, and have it lost
In the darkness we share. The shifting wind -
A thousand shifting winds between you and me -
The faltering, the hoping, the wondering.
I say "I love you," as if to stay the wind.
But not to stay the wind. But not to play the game.
I speak - I breath - for you. My heart beats
Steady, despite these lies which encircle us,
Unbeating, the lies we share, and understand.
Of happenstance and uncertainty and nicotine -
The laughter and confusion we so cherish -
The crazy lives we must live and surrender to.
But I cannot surrender to these without a certain heart.
I cannot let the wind blow without a fire inside.
Outrageous misfortune may have its dominium,
And the gods may have their devious ways,
But all of this is a lie to me, in the light
Of one certain love. So, I say, "I love you,"
And it flies away like birds into winter grey.
But not all of it. Only the words. The pain.
I know the spirit remains - in my heart, and
There my heart goes on beating quietly and
Assuredly, and glad. It isn't the words.
It isn't the show, our love, it is us -
In my beating heart is yours, comforting me.
It is not words - it is my choice to speak -
To state against all odds, against the wind,
Against all common and continuous tragedy -
That I love you, Sweetness. You know what that takes
For a man like me, so cautious never to lose again,
And so coy and clever in a world full of gracelessness,
In a world so barren without someone as amazing as you.
You fix the wind for me. You hold the restless echoes
Content within your loving hand. And the world
Falls together into something resembling
The meaning of my love. My words find passage.
My mind finds consolation, to hear y

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