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galaxy

On Expansive Genitalia - (and heads)

Posted on 2017.08.13 at 09:31
Tags: ,
This is a post about expansive genitalia, which you may have gathered from the title.  Meanwhile, the pop radio station is  playing a piano rendition of Claire de Lune, which is arguably the best piece of music ever written...  Such is the irony...

I argue that, indeed, size does matter, when it comes to, you know. I hate to admit this because, although I am extremely long, I am not so wide, which is the important thing. BTW - you can always tell a man by the shape - or extent - of his nose. Except for men from Africa. They tend to have big shlongs. However, that didn't seem to help them in developing civilisation and preventing slavery, so, lol. It's gotta be said, dudes. I say what I see!

Nevertheless, I argue that, at some point in our evolution, it was better for men to be have bigger shlongs, because womens' vaginal tubes were getting larger and larger so as to allow the eventual passage of larger-headed babies! I do think that bigger shlongs make for bigger brains. And, this is confirmed every time I meditate sexually with fireworks and stars.

On the other hand, let me now speak of teeth. Many people with big shlongs also have big teeth. I have relatively tiny teeth but an elongated schlong. I consider myself lucky - amongst the tiny teeth people. But the big teeth people are a fucking BEAR.

Anyway, the reason why some people have tiny teeth is because they have descended from people who have long been associated with agriculture. Why? Because they no longer had to rip into meat, especially non-cooked meat. But, this leads me to this following hypothesis:

People with tiny teeth are better able to tolerate alcohol! This is certainly true in my case. I can drink most people under the table - and yet I am not addictable to alcohol! I think I am even more distinguished from the red-haired Irish, in this, who seem to have bigger teeth.

If you look into you lover's eyes and he or she opens her mouth to smile and you see that he or she has big teeth, I advise you, for the sake of evolution, to go and find someone with tiny teeth, lol. Hopefully, this new person may have elongated genitalia, although maybe not expansive. Size doesn't matter anymore, anyway, because we need to stop having children anyway!!!

Well, I guess if we are going to other planets, then maybe super-sized heads would work out, but call me old-fashioned. Call me provincial. There is an argument to be made for moderate heads, yes?

Comments:


meowmensteen
meowmensteen at 2017-08-13 15:11 (UTC) (Lien)
I don't know, I've knows some guys with big dicks and small brains.

If you want get down to it, what really matters is someone with nice hands. A dick is useless without good hand skills. Studies have shown that with ladies, orgasms increase the likelihood of pregnancy.

I've never thought about the size of my teeth. I have a weird relationship with alcohol. I generally have zero desire to have more than one drink, but I love to have that one drink almost daily. My dad has small teeth, but I think mine are regular sized. Not big or small.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2017-08-13 18:41 (UTC) (Lien)
I swear to god this post made me crack up when I reread it. It's funny cuz it's true!

So - "orgasms increase the likelihood of pregnancy" - This is an awesome and important thing to say. I also heard something in the news related to this. I think the topic was about rape and the decreased rate of consequent pregnancy in, like, Kenya or something. That you should have pulled out and preserved this pearl of wisdom is remarkable! But, I guess it is a truth - I really love truths. They are so helpful in so many other matters.

Well, the secret is to look for guys w/ big dongs but tiny teeth - that is the vector to ride. Unfortunately, big dongs are an accident, and do not correlate closely with big brains. Big dongs are just a general proclivity, yars.

Hands are good. Hands work for me. If you loo at any picture of Catholic praying hands - ? - those are my hands. Some girls have orgasmed because of my hands, lol. But more seriously:

I would think that empathy and sensitivity, (hands), is a far better evolutionary trait than LARGENESS. In fact, it may be more due to our sensitivity which caused our brains to get so big in the first place, beckoning our dicks to follow.

By coincidence, I have been thinking doing a post about hands and humanity. It is interesting how the words for hand, manipulate, man, etc., are all apparently related.

PS - Do you have a little Native American in you? Being rude - what was your dad's ancestry? (Sorry).
meowmensteen
meowmensteen at 2017-08-13 23:17 (UTC) (Lien)
My dad is half German and half Scots-Irish. My mom is the side with the more interesting ancestry. That side is rumored to have some Navajo, but that depends on who you ask. My mother's father was of German heritage, and her mother was mostly German Jew. Her (my mom's) grandmother came here from Germany and made a living reading fortunes. Hearing voices runs in our family. haha. The old lady in our family are proud of having "the gift". I know you asked about my dad, but his side is pretty straight forward. A bunch of Germans that have been in Washington and Northern Idaho for several generations.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2017-08-14 00:43 (UTC) (Lien)
German and Scots-Irish can be a terrible mix. But what can I say, it built the West.

I'm glad you heard voices, lol. Neener neener. Seriously, if there are voices, it is best to hear them. But really, that is pretty interesting to have had an ancestor who made it by reading fortunes.

If your father had tiny teeth, and yours are normal sized, then maybe you do have some Navajo in you, because they have larger teeth, not having had much history with eating grains. It seems like most Americans have some Native American in them, despite being the chaste angry Puritans that they were...

Oh - I am 100% Irish - my parents were born there. But I am the dark sort, from Ulster, and have a great affiliation to Scots or Scots-Irish. Same dif, pretty much.
meowmensteen
meowmensteen at 2017-08-14 01:03 (UTC) (Lien)
I haven't heard voices in years, but I tend to shut them out. I mean every once in a while I'll be in a room all by myself and it will sound like I'm in a crowded room, but in kind of a far off distant way, but that's about it. The last major vision I had was back when I was 16 and met the devil. The dude had every man's face all at once and he smelled really good. Like he had a beard but was clean shaven. I kind of banished him, and I don't think he's bothered me ever since. I might have hurt his ego. He figured he had better things to do than hang around a girl who didn't want him around. I don't really know what to think about that seeing how I don't believe in god, but then again, I never met god. Probably for the best. I don't exactly have anything nice to say to him or her.

Irish? Cool. Really often when people ask me what I am, I say half Seattle, WA and half Waco, TX. My great-grandmother (mentioned above) moved to Waco because she felt like there was a powerful vortex there. If there is such a thing, she might have been right.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2017-08-14 01:23 (UTC) (Lien)
lol re: Waco! (wacko) Yes, it seems like a vortex kinda place. I think some place in Arizona is a vortex - can't remember the city. I take these things with a grain of salt.

Well, that is interesting about those voices. I do believe that anything is possible. I have argued that the "delusions" of schizophrenics are actually an alternate or overlapping reality.

I did date a girl who was heavy into psychic stuff, and it became a problem. I totally backed her and believed in her at first, but I came to see that there was no line between her superstitions, or what have you, and her need to control people.

But I have experienced psychic things in the past, especially concerning the faithfully departed, and I continue to believe that there is validity in these things, even after that horrible relationship, lol.
meowmensteen
meowmensteen at 2017-08-14 01:42 (UTC) (Lien)
I go back and forth on my feelings about the validity of this kind of thing. I like to stay grounded in reality. Religion kind of fucked me up.
where hypotheses come to die
madman101 at 2017-08-14 04:38 (UTC) (Lien)
Religion can eat my shorts.
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