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octobre 2017   01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
I started a mini-theme post this morning, but decaf caffeine made my head explode. I was thinking about neonicotinoid pesticides. These. Kill bees. Colony collapse disorder, which is a nice analogy for what is happening to our country. Except. We will become a colony. Actually, what we have is Empire Collapse Disorder. Anyway, neonicotinoids are simply chemical man-ipulations of natural nicotine, which is a pesticide already in plants. So, I thought... Why not use regular nicotine? Well, natural nicotine would hurt bees as well.

So, then I thought, Can't caffeine be sprayed as a pesticide? Caffeine is also a natural pesticide in plants. (We like it, and get addicted, because it is a poison which we can tolerate. All of these natural poisons have associated neuron receptors in our amazing brains. One step further: We already have analogues of these poisons, in our bodies. Marijuana receptors exist in our brains, because we have analogues of marijuana chemicals in our bodies. The high we get from smoking pot is simply an exaggeration of a high naturally built into us. Otherwise, it wouldn't click. It wouldn't happen. It would be like smoking cardboard. I everything in us has a reason). I have used caffeine as a pesticide in organic gardening.

All this lead me to the thought: Tobacco plants have lots of nicotine. Bees hate nicotine. Now I have the question: Do tobacco plats try to keep bees away? Why? To encourage an alternate pollinator? See how scientific questions grow out of nowhere?

That terrible frontal headache which I wrote about 5-7 days ago still hath not faithfully departed. So, am still keetering along. (I made up that word). One thing which might have been aggravating it has been the soy nuts I have been eating. I haven't had soy nuts in a long time. This time, it seems to me that they are helping to make me sick. Why and how could this be, if true? It would most probably be because virtually all (non-organic) soy is GMO. GMO messes with your gut biota, and can also install mutated genes into your body, which may go so far as to then manufacture artificial, toxic pesticides IN YOUR BODY. That is a raw deal, especially because GMO/pesticides don't work, and destroy nature, and taste bad. I have also been eating my beloved tofu.

I am not whistling into the wind here. Most animals, including pets, will take a whiff of GMO seeds or food, and they will AVOID it completely.

So, you might want to think twice about soy milk, or soy protein powder, and so forth. Coconut and rice milk - better. Also, most almond milk has only a handful of almonds in it. All the rest is fillers and thickeners: Like carageenan. Although carageenan is natural, it can irritate the digestive tract - and that, for some people, can be tragic.

With brain in hands, I walked to the food pantry on Monday. Bee-Girl had told me that Monday would be a good day to come, promising me meat. But I was not in the mood to see her, all pleasantly, and such, because my brain and fatigue were on my mind, weighing me down. (CFS headaches, etc., are much worse than regular headaches, or migraines. They affect the heart, muscles, all the organs, etc.)

So, when downstairs, I rang her bell, and happened to stoop down to look at a can, and she blew in through a door. My mind was in pain. But, unlike her normal drapery of baggy clothes, to hide her maiden-form, she was now dressed tight and light, although with something tied around her waist. I wondered why she was making a slightly angry face. I was not even looking at her body. Later, at home, I realised what was going on.

She was looking forward to me being interesting her, and sending her some of my flattering comments.

It goes like this: (This is all theory). I think she was looking forward to me showing up, and finding her sexy. I couldn't do that, as my brain was a home for scorpions. She has large bazookas, and all, but I am not necessarilly interested in large bazookas. And, even if I did check her out, I am not normally interested in females who are overweight. That's just a fact. In fact, I was more interested in the tall skinny girl at F&F on Friday. So, she was angry to see that I just wasn't interested in her, other than as a person. Seeing as she is married, this is kinda the way it should be.

But, working at a food pantry, I think she is gaining weight, and she may kinda want to recapture the male attention which she had garnered in her hyacinth days. Or, salad days, as opposed to whatever.

BTW - today, I have been preparing a salad, additional relish, and a salsa-dip, (plus I got my dog's dinner ready), AND making coffee, all together, over the course of hours. (More about my coffee-maker later).

Bee-Girl is a wonderful person, and communicative. But she might have a little low-self-esteem sometimes. I noticed, last Friday, that she seemed a little needy of my attention - as if, perhaps, I was a proxy for her father-template. Daddy's girls tend to bestow a lot of importance on the guys they date or like, whether those guys deserve it or not. On Friday, she was very attentive to me, after having a glimpse of my arms. I don't know how that works or why it's a big deal to girls, but it does.

On Monday, I think she wanted to show me, back, that she is also physically attractive. She is. But - I think this might have been a big deal to her, since she has so often dressed so shyly, or such. An, with the thing wrapped around her stomach, that may have meant she was self-conscious of her weight. All-in-all, at the time, I totally missed all this, due to lack of brain. I was not capable of being any kind of modes which involved ego, empathy, or sexual shenanigans.

While talking to Bee-Girl, I HAD to yawn, because I was entering into a CFS phase which is a YAWNING FIT. Actually, if I ever get to the point that I am ABLE to yawn, then there is a light at the end of the relapse tunnel, for me. Sometimes, on the other had, I am so tired that I can't even sleep. Walk a step in my shoe.

Bee-Girl also yawned, "Don't do that, it's contagious!" But I said I had no choice. And, when I said that she didn't seem her normal self, she said she was a bit tired. All I could say was, "Welcome to the club." She soon said that she has the same illness I do, because she is tired so much. I said, "That's what EVERYBODY says when I say I have CFS."

She was gracious enough. But, no one understands. I recently told the main jerk repair-guy that he (obviously) didn't understand my illness. And that I avoid people because they do not understand.

Rolling eyes.

Soy nuts are people, too.

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